Perils Of Parenthood
by reddwarfaddict
Summary: ... And how the Doctor fails at it. The Doctor attempts to take his brand new baby girl on her first outing, but paranoia is abundant... NO PAIRINGS! The child was acquired through no means of female input...


**A/N:** Disclaimer: If I owned Doctor Who there'd be a MUSICAL EPISODE! :D

No pairings, no nothing! If you wanna know the full details of just _how _he came to have a baby girl called Amy in my universe, the details are in Unwanted Lodger! So don't assume the child is his and Donna's, coz let's face it, that's just a BIT eww.

This fic was born out of someone saying to me, "so how paranoid would the Doctor be on Amy's first outing?"...

* * *

"No!" the Doctor said instantly, eyes wide. "It's not happening! Ever!"

"Doctor…"

The Doctor defensively put his arms around the carrier on his chest holding his brand new baby girl Amy, his face sincere. "It's a no! A big, fat no! It's too dangerous! I won't allow it!"

Donna rolled her eyes, her eyes looking to Amy still giggling and waving her arms and legs about in the Doctor's carrier, her straight brown hair neat and perfect on her head from where the Doctor had brushed it caringly that very morning. "Doctor, are you seriously tellin' me you're never gonna let your daughter _ever _see the outside world?"

"She's not old enough!" the Doctor protested. "When she's older and she can handle herself, then maybe…"

"You're impossible!" Donna said with a sigh, moving forward and plucking the girl straight from the carrier, holding her close. "Your daddy's a moron, isn't he, Amy?" Donna cooed, smiling as Amy tried to catch the finger Donna was waving in her face. "Isn't he?" Amy giggled. "Aww, you bet he is!"

"What?" the Doctor asked innocently. "I was merely saying that…"

"Doctor, you've gotta let the reins go a little," Donna told him seriously, sitting down in the captain's chair with Amy in her arms. "Even if we just go somewhere safe… like a park or a beach or somethin'. She's gotta realise that the TARDIS ain't the only place in the Universe!"

The Doctor sighed, watching Amy as she continued to try and catch Donna's finger hovering above her. Donna secured her hold around the girl's chest, lifting her up to face the Doctor.

"Is this the face of a girl who wants to stay inside the TARDIS all her life?" she implored the Time Lord as Amy stared at the Doctor, and burped. "I don't think so!"

The Doctor sighed again as his shoulders dropped, knowing he was defeated. He took Amy back into his arms, slipping her back into the carrier. "Okay, okay, fine!" he said as he flicked a switch on the console. "But we go somewhere safe, she stays with me at all times, she does not leave my sight. If there's any sign of trouble at all, we come straight back, okay? No exceptions!"

Donna rolled her eyes, and Amy giggled.

* * *

The Doctor sent Donna out to check for the perfect spot on the beach they'd landed at whilst he busied himself slopping suncream onto Amy in bucketloads despite the fact she probably didn't need it.

"Amy if you get too hot, just wave your arms at me, okay?" he said seriously to the baby, who just giggled again and tried to grab his nose.

He made sure he had beach towels, a beach umbrella, buckets, spades, a windshield, sunglasses, and even managed to dig out a pair of very old swimming shorts from the bottom section of the wardrobe. As Donna came back into the TARDIS and donned her swimming costume, the Doctor was ferreting around the interior in swim shorts trying to think of anything he'd missed.

They set foot out onto the peaceful, deserted alien beach, the Doctor struggling beneath the tens of items he'd bought. Donna directed him to a nice spot halfway down the beach, all the time the Doctor frantic that he'd forgotten something that might put his baby girl in jeopardy. He took five minutes to set up before dropping onto the towel he'd laid on the sand, finally believing that he had missed nothing and allowing himself to relax, slipping on his sunglasses and lying down on the towel.

"Umm… Doctor?" Donna asked suddenly and he opened his eyes to find Donna looming over him, staring in disbelief. "You've _forgotten the baby!"_

The Doctor's eyes widened, jumping onto both feet and running off back to the TARDIS to retrieve the girl before he got a slap.


End file.
